Ghosts of Memory
by XRosalindX
Summary: Special Agent Vivian Parker finds herself falling for a man who would never love her back, for his heart belonged to another woman, a certain Dr. Maeve Donovan. A cruel twist of fate kills Maeve turning their lives upside down. Torn between love and friendship, will Spencer and Vivian ever find happiness? [Reid OC] READ & REVIEW!
1. A New Year, A New Agent!

**Hey guys! This is my first fanfic ever and I'm really excited about it! Not only because it is my first, but also because it is for Criminal Minds and my favorite Dr. Spencer Reid, in which I'll get to work on two of my favourite genres mystery and romance! I hope you guys will give this story a chance. Do read and review****!**

**I've adjusted the timeline of actual occurrence of events in the show to suit my story. Also, I might change something****s here and there****.**

**I've not read many stories on this forum nor have I seen all the episodes of Criminal Minds. So if anything looks familiar to any work on this forum, it is only coincidental. **

**Pardon any typing errors.**

**(As far as Maeve and Spencer's storyline is concerned, some scenes from the show will be used.****)**

**I do not own Criminal Minds, only my storyline and my OCs.**

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><p><strong>New year's eve, 2012.<strong>

**8:30 PM**

Dr. Spencer Reid. The name and the various doctorates associated with it, IQ of 187, ability to read 20,000 words per minute... all of that seemed to be of no use on a New Year's Eve. It was his two weeks off from the BAU, something he was forced to take. He was shot, twice, trying to save a victim. "Go out kid," Morgan said, "Just take a break." Go out? Yeah, right. But, he realised that he really needed that break. Time to think: about his drug addiction... Though he managed to get past it, it still remained one of the biggest demons of his life. He assessed and analysed where his life was heading to, which was still an unanswered question. In these two weeks, his life took another major turn. He met someone. Well, they didn't exactly meet but he hoped they would, eventually.

He pushed the blinds of his window aside to see a truck parked in front of the apartment and some unloading being done. What he also saw was a red head, a beautiful shade of dark reddish brown hair with its soft curls, flowing down the shoulders of a seemingly tall, slender built woman whose face remained hidden. The new year decorations and the street lights provided him with enough light to make those observations. He shifted a little closer to the window, hoping to get a glimpse of her face. Well, he was curious. After all she was going to be his neighbour. He was pretty sure she was the new tenant of the apartment beside his. It wasn't a tough guess as it was the only available apartment in the building.

"A new neighbour," Reid thought, "Not that it would matter." He hardly knew the previous one. So what are the chances he'll get to know her any better?  
>He saw her disappear into the building and a few minutes later the thuds of boxes being carried in were distinctly heard from the corridor. "Careful!" came a shrill voice. Mrs. O'Neill, Reid recognised. How can he ever forget the apartment's over enthusiastic secretary? Yet, she was a very nice lady who greeted him every morning on his way out.<br>"Thanks a lot, Mrs. O'Neil!" His new neighbour spoke a little louder, audible enough for Reid, who was just about to open the door to go out for a walk. "Have a great year ahead! And you guys too," she was probably talking to the crew handling the boxes, "I'll manage from here. It's new year's eve after all. You must be having plans."  
>"Alright, happy new year ma'am," one of the crew members said, relieved.<br>"Thanks!" She sounded happy. Her voice had a sweet ring to it, almost sounding like a soothing melody.

He opened the door preparing himself to greet her and wish her on his way out only to find her apartment's door close behind her as she entered it. He was a tad bit disappointed for he wanted to see how she looked like. He shrugged off the disappointment and headed out to find the nearest phone booth.

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><p><strong>1st January, 2013. <strong>

**8:00 AM**

Dr. Spencer Reid glanced at the Dilaudid vials on his sink and then at the mirror. He found them while cleaning his closet, buried under a huge stack of old clothes. "The last of them to be discarded," he inhaled deeply, grabbed them and threw them into the dustbin, cleaned out the garbage. Literally.

He was ready in half an hour, excited and unsettled. Back to BAU! Back to work.. There was nothing more he could ask for.

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><p><strong>Meanwhile at the BAU Headquarters...<strong>

"She is not a replacement Hotch," Strauss stressed on the 'not' part, "I would never even think of replacing Reid."

"Then why do you think we need a new addition to the team?" Hotch asked, not believing a word Strauss said.

"Because she is good, exceptionally good. Graduated at top of her batch in the academy. She has also worked in the field and is very very good at combat.."  
>"Also has degrees in Applied Criminology, Forensic Science and Psychology... Sounds familiar to me.." Hotch said going through the said agent's file.<p>

"She is not a "Dr." and is here as an agent. You can't compare the both of them," Strauss sighed, "Hotch, just forget about Reid for a moment. Don't you think she'll be a great asset? Young agents like her, like Reid are the future of BAU. So, I don't think she'll be any sort of a threat to the team. She is joining today and it's up to you to make sure there is no unnecessary tension in the team. And one more thing. All that paperwork and extra jobs you've been doing since JJ got promoted, I want you to transfer that work to Agent Parker. You've been pushing your limits lately."

"I don't think so that's a good idea. She is inexperienced. You know what happened with Jordan. She couldn't handle it," Hotch reminded Strauss.

"Vivian's not Jordan. Trust me, she can handle it," Strauss was adamant, "Train her and let her assist you initially."

Hotch nodded, understanding Agent Strauss' point. They could give her a chance. Her file was impressive and her BAU training results were exceptional as well. Also they could use another agent trained in combat. Most of all, he would get some time off. That meant more time with Jack and much needed rest. On the other hand, he wasn't too delighted either.  
>Hotch and Strauss walked out of his office to see Reid already at his assigned work table, scribbling something on a notepad. Reid looked up, a little surprised to see Strauss.<p>

"I see, you're back Reid," Strauss said, as they came down. Reid managed to nod at her and then turned towards Hotch, unsure of the situation.  
>"Welcome back Reid. How are you doing?" Hotch smiled at the young doctor. Reid relaxed, "I am doing quite well. So do we have a case already? Judging by Agent Strauss' presence I assume it is an important one. But I do not see the rest of the team here so it must be something other than a case, nevertheless equally important, or even more."<p>

"Looks like Dr. Spencer Reid is indeed back on track," Agent David Rossi joined the trio, "Welcome back."  
>"Glad to be back." A smile cracked up on his lips.<br>"It is not a case," Strauss said, "We are going to have a new agent join the BAU today."  
>"A new agent?" Reid and Rossi said in unison.<br>"How come we had no prior information?" Rossi asked, his eyes shifting from Strauss to Hotch. Hotch only shrugged in return. "She is being considered and monitored for sometime now. It's high time she joined the team. Monitor her and let me know the progress. I have a good feeling about her, though."

Rossi raised an eyebrow. Strauss and having a good feeling about an agent? That was a rarity.

"I have to get going now," she turned to leave but paused briefly to wish the three agents a happy new year.

"Is that her file?" Rossi pointed at the file in Hotch's hands.  
>He handed Rossi the file and waited for his colleague's assessment of her. Both Reid and Hotch didn't fail to spot the slight frown on Rossi's forehead as he went through her credentials. "Looks promising," he said, "An excellent track record and she's twenty seven.. Not bad."<p>

Reid skimmed through her file before he returned to his seat and resumed his scribbling. Rossi and Hotch looked at him and then at each other. Damn sure, Reid is back!

"Look who's back," Morgan startled the doctor, "Did you have a good time yesterday pretty boy?"  
>"It is relative. If your idea of having fun is reading Plato, then I did." Reid was careful enough to not mention a certain phone call.<p>

Morgan's jaw dropped at Reid's never changing idea of fun, "When will you grow up kid? Where have all my words of wisdom disappeared to?"  
>"I would hardly consider them words of wisdom, unless you've ever quoted something from the..." Reid was quickly silenced by the arrival of their charming technical analyst, "If it is not our resident genius..." she said walking towards him, "We've missed you handsome!" Reid smiled at her. Emily and JJ were right behind her, who hugged him, glad that he was doing well and back on the team.<p>

That was when they heard the clicking of heels behind them, approaching them. They turned to see who it was. Dressed in black formal trousers coupled with a maroon shirt and a black blazer with her waist length reddish brown hair let down, a young woman who seemed to be in her mid twenties walked towards Hotch, "SSA Vivian Parker." The team members who had no information about the new entry, gaped at the "SSA" standing in front of them.

"SSA Aron Hotchner," he shook her hand, "Team, meet our newest member Special Agent Vivian Parker."

It was nothing short of a bomb dropped on them. Emily, JJ and Garcia only stared at her, disbelief and mild disagreement on their faces. Morgan recovered rather quickly and turned to check out the doctor's reaction and caught him staring at her. However he didn't look like he was admiring her looks. Instead he seemed lost in thought, like he was analysing some important piece of information. The kind of look he has while profiling an Unsub.

"Agent David Rossi," Rossi introduced himself breaking the awkward silence. A half smile appeared on the newbie's lips as she shook hands with him. Next was Morgan followed by Emily and JJ.

"Quite the surprise Agent Parker," Garcia said, "New year, new agent."  
>"Vivian, would be fine," Vivian said smiling at her, "Guessing by the reaction garnered by my entry, I assume you weren't informed prior to my arrival. I thought Agent Strauss would put in a word."<p>

"She did," Hotch intervened, "Only, this morning. There wasn't enough time before you arrived to inform the rest of the team. So the reaction."

"Oh.. So can I safely assume that I am welcome?" Vivian asked, looking expectantly at the team.  
>"Not until our expert analyst here approves," JJ nudged Reid in the side, making him aware of the fact that he had been staring for too long.<br>"What?" he said breaking away from his trance.

"Agent Vivian Parker," she introduced herself again, extending her hand towards him.  
>"It's Dr. Spencer Reid. The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It's actually safer to kiss," Reid said, without a second thought, declining Vivian's hand. Emily and JJ stared at him in disbelief for it wasn't the best way to say hello to their new colleague, especially a girl. Morgan almost face palmed. Garcia, however, was eagerly waiting for the girl's response.<p>

Vivian blinked at Reid once and stifled a laugh. Instead she smiled at him and said, "Then, I guess I'd settle for a hello." A faint blush appeared on his face. He shifted uncomfortably and ended up saying, "Welcome to the BAU."

Before she could reply, Hotch announced they had a new case to solve.

"Did you see that?" Garcia whispered to JJ. "She didn't mind," Emily joined them. "And she actually laughed. And that smile? She made Reid blush!" JJ added. "I like her already," Garcia declared.

* * *

><p><strong>Conference room<strong>

"The dead body of Emma McGrath was found in her own house, in Orlando three days ago, shot, multiple times. And then the next day the dead body of Alicia Bell was found in the parking lot of a grocery store about two blocks from her apartment, also shot multiple times. Security camera in the lobby of her apartment building caught her leaving the building at around 10 in the night, right before she was killed. Amanda Tate, eighteen years old, went missing from a new year party last night. Same place Orlando, Florida. The local P.D believes that this might be somehow related to the case," Garcia gave the team all the preliminary information they needed.

"The Unsub is evolving surprisingly fast," Emily said, "That means the Unsub knows what he's doing and is not hesitant to do it."

"Premeditated," Vivian opined, "The Unsub might already have a specific list of victims. Chosen targets."  
>"Or he is acting based on instinct," Reid had a different theory, "On impulse, choosing random victims."<p>

"Then how do you explain Alicia leaving her apartment so late in the night? I suppose she went for a midnight walk?" Vivian pointed out, a hint of sarcasm in her words.  
>Reid quirked his eyebrows, "Were there any signs of sexual assault?" he directed the question at Garcia.<br>"Nope."

"Either way, he is acting fast. There is a possibility of Amanda being alive, if her body hasn't turned up yet," Morgan said.

"Alright team. Looks like we have a case here. Wheels up in thirty," Hotch said rising from his chair with the case file in his hands.

"Dr. Reid," Vivian walked beside him as they exited the room.  
>"Yes?" Reid asked wondering what it was now.<br>"Your notepad," she said, giving it to him, "And how about you try a more fundamental function like a to the power of x (a^x). It is also an eigen function with respect to the derivative operator."

"Yes, but it wouldn't satisfy..." his eyes widened as he figured out the complete solution, "How did I miss that?"

Vivian smiled and shrugged, "You're welcome," she said and walked ahead.  
>This time it was Reid who walked up to her as she checked the contents of her go bag, "I didn't see any degrees in Mathematics in your file."<br>"I don't need a degree to know that now, do I? Do you Dr. Reid? Have a degree for every subject you have knowledge of?" she asked, not taking eyes off her bag.  
>"Not necessarily. I just read a lot."<br>"So do I," she zipped her bag shut.  
>"You don't have to address me as doctor everytime," Reid said heading to his own work table.<p>

"The both of you seem to be getting along pretty well," Morgan teased.  
>"She's okay," Reid said, placing his notepad in his bag, "Let's get going."<p>

In the plane, Vivian seated herself beside JJ and Emily took a seat opposite to them.

"JJ, these pics.. Do we have enlarged images?" Vivian examined a photograph of Emma McGrath's dead body. "Yeah, we do. I have them here somewhere.." JJ said flipping the photographs on the table. "They are with me," Emily spread them on the table. "See what's wrong with these shots?"

"They are not kill shots," JJ said.

"If the motive of the unsub was to kill then why not shoot right through the chest? According to the coroner's reports they were shot at a very close range," Rossi said, going through the coroner's preliminary reports.

"Sadism," Reid said. Everybody turned to look at him, "Perhaps the Unsub's motive was not just killing, but killing them slowly. He derives sadistic pleasure from seeing them bleed to death. There is a glitch however," Reid paused, when Vivian continued, "The Unsub killled Alicia in plain sight. Which means he wouldn't have had much time to stick around and watch due to the danger of being caught. That might have been possible with Emma, but with Alicia? Certainly not."

"Either the Unsub is an amateur or the targeted area of the human body holds some significance to him," Reid deducted the rest of it.

"Even if he was an amateur at least one of those bullets should've hit the upper body or the legs. Looks like the latter possibility makes sense. Like Rossi pointed out the bullets were fired at close range. It is unbelievable that the Unsub didn't manage at least one kill shot," Morgan added to their theories.

"It might be about the organs in that part of the body," Hotch spoke, "The stomach, the liver, the Pancreatic gland, the intestines, what else?"

"The womb," Vivian's voice was almost a whisper.  
>"What?" JJ asked, not sure if she had heard it right.<br>"A mother's womb," Vivian repeated, her voice a little louder, "All of our victims are women. That must mean something."

"You mean to say he is targeting their motherhood?" Hotch asked, confirming if that was what she had meant, "But there is no sign of mutilation of genitals."  
>"It's just a theory," she replied, quite surprised with herself for even thinking about something like that.<p>

"What about Amanda? She only eighteen," Morgan said, which earned him a "Really?" from Garcia working from their Quantico HQ, "Kids these days... You can't be so sure.."

"That is actually not unlikely. Surveys suggest that 3 out of ten teenage girls get pregnant at least once before they are twenty. That is about 3.33% accounting to about 329,797 teen births in the year 2011 alone. Though there is high probability that the number might change, Amanda Tate might still belong to the 3.33%," Reid said closing the file in his hands to look at his team.

"Any of the victims mothers?" Vivian wanted to know.  
>"Already checked that," Garcia was ready with the information, "Sorry to disappoint you Viv.. Wait can I call you that?"<br>"Sure.." Vivian said shrugging a little with a soft smile.

"I know we're not that close yet. But since you said it's okay, I'll call you.." "Garcia!" Hotch knew his Tech expert had to be brought back to the case from her not so rare "straying away" syndrome. "Yup. No never mothers," she said, professional again, "Now if you need me to crack another shell, you know where to find me. Signing off."

"Morgan, Reid and Vivian, you go to the ME's office and see what we can find. Then head over to the Tates' place. They live just three blocks away. Dave and Emily you head to Emma McGrath's crime scene, while JJ and I check out the venue of last night's party," Hotch assigned the tasks, "And Dave when you are done with the crime scene meet us at the parking lot where Alicia was shot."

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><p><strong>So how was it? Good? Bad? I have another chapter ready for you guys! I'll post it, if you want me to continue. Do read it and let me know what you think. This is just the beginning and it would be really great if you'd give the story <strong>**a chance! It might seem to be a routine fanfic, but there's a lot more to it. Equal amounts of mystery, drama and most importantly romance! **


	2. A New Year, A New Agent! : Part 2

**Here's the next one! Do leave a review! **

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><p>[Vivian's POV]<p>

When we reached the coroner's office, Dr. Denson led us to the morgue. The dead bodies of the two women lay a few feet apart. My eyes darted from one to the other as we walked towards Emma, our first victim.

"As told before she was shot in the abdomen. COD, excessive bleeding due to multiple shots. I would put the time of death between 11 and 12 PM. With the other woman it would be between 10 and 11 PM," she said.

"There isn't a single scratch apart from the bullet wounds. No signs of struggle, no signs of poisoning. Either the victim knew the Unsub or the Unsub sedated her. Any sedatives in her blood?" I inquired. "No, not really. But, I did find valium in Alicia's body. Though it's not enough to affect her in any way. It was a normal prescription dose. The weird part was that the whole round of bullets was emptied into her," she said handing Morgan a yellow folder, which probably contained the autopsy reports. "Ballistics reveal that it was a .38 caliber automatic revolver."

"The Unsub was aggressive and the MO indicates overkill. Is it the same with Emma too?" Reid asked, "I mean the whole round, from the same revolver?"

The doctor answered that in affirmative. "Is there anything else that is common between the both of them?" Reid asked the doctor.

"Well, there were signs of abortion. That's the only thing common," Dr. Denson said. My goodness, I could've been right. Morgan and Reid looked right at me with frowns on their faces. "Looks like you might be right," Morgan said and dialled.. Hotch?

It was Garcia. "Hey baby girl. I need you to check all the three victims' medical records. Look for abortion. And .38 caliber automatic revolver owners."

"I know I am a genius at what I do, but that doesn't mean I'd allow any abuse of my skill set.. Do you have any idea how many registered owners would be.." she was being so loud that the Dr. Denson suppressed a giggle.

Reid took the phone from Morgan, "Garcia narrow it down to the people from the victims' workplaces and family. Also check the ones living in the victims' locality. That should do for now. You can widen it later when we form definite profile of the Unsub."

Morgan took the phone back, "You okay with that mama?"

"Oh yeah! Right on it sweetness," Garcia said, "That was some intuition princess, targeting their motherhood." "We can't be sure unless you find something about Amanda that supports this theory," I said in return. "I'll dig in," Garcia cut the call. The next call was to Hotch.

"Previous trauma caused by his wife or a girlfriend aborting a child while he desperately wanted kids. Or.. It could be a woman.." Reid said, completely changing our idea of the Unsub, "There is no mutilation of the victims' genitals." "Which is generally a characteristic feature of an Unsub with mommy issues," I pointed out.

"A woman who has lost a child. Forced abortion or a termination of pregnancy?" Morgan weighed the possibilities. It was more likely that our Unsub is a woman as killing with a gun was a more of a feminine choice. Aggression in males is usually characterized by stabbing and bludgeoning rather than shooting. When I pointed this out and both Morgan and Reid agreed with me.

"So Amanda might have gotten an abortion too? If it is so, how does our Unsub have access to that kind of information?" Hotch wondered over the phone. "May be she is a doctor? Or a nurse who worked at the same hospital they had their abortion done," JJ said.

"Or someone who knew them both," I pointed out a simpler answer.

"I'll have Garcia look into that. There is drug store just opposite to the grocery store, which closes at around 10 o clock every night. The owner says that Alicia comes once a week to this drug store after the grocery store closes buys something from there leaves," Hotch was about to say something else when I interrupted, "Traces of Valium were found in Alicia's system. I'm sure it was Valium that she was buying. Maybe there was some sort of illegal dealing going on."

"Perhaps there was. The drug store never opened yesterday and Alicia didn't show up. Looks like she was late. I have already asked the local P.D to trace that guy. We better talk to Amanda's family and friends before we conclude anything," Hotch said, keeping his mind open for another M.O. There might even be another one.

My gut feeling, however, told me otherwise. The loss of a child can be traumatic. Studies show that some women tend to be psychologically affected by inability to have children often destroying their married life, which worsens their psyche. It is worse in the case of successive termination of pregnancies, or in the case of a stillborn. There are several reason as to why the Unsub resorted to killing innocent women. Only, they weren't innocent in her eyes.

"Vivian?" I heard a distant voice calling out my name, followed by a jerk of my shoulder. My monologue came to an abrupt stop, when I turned to see Reid waving his hand in front of my eyes. "Vivian, you okay?" Morgan looked concerned.

"Oh.. I am.. I'm fine," I said pressing my fingers to my temples. It was the beginning of a horrible head ache, "I was just thinking, about the unsub.. What would be the reason to kill these women?"

"How about craziness? We can work with that," Morgan said walking towards the exit.

"I guess we can."

"You look tired," Reid surprised me as we exited the morgue. I blinked at him once, "Is it that evident?"

When Reid nodded, I sighed. "All the traveling and moving into a new apartment is taking a toll on me. I've hardly had any sleep," I said turned to look at him, a smile playing on my lips, "But you would know that, wouldn't you?"

"Excuse me?" Reid feigned innocence.

"Mrs. O'Neil said that a certain Spencer Reid was my neighbour. What are the chances that he is the same as Dr. Spencer Reid?"

"One hundred percent," Reid admitted.

"You didn't see me yesterday.. Then how did you figure it out?"

"Your hair, your voice. I have a knack for remembering things. But I wasn't sure. I guess my staring gave it away?" Reid said as we got into the SUV.

"How could I possibly miss that recognition in your face? That was really impressive!"

I took the back seat while he sat the front, Morgan at the wheel. Morgan who was obviously listening to us needed a clarity, "So you're neighbours?" he asked, starting the vehicle.

"Yes," Reid answered. Morgan turned to look at me an eyebrow raised, "So kid, our new agent is also your new neighbour?" He didn't say it aloud, but I was pretty sure I heard something that sounded like, "Good for you."

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><p><strong><em>Amanda's house<em>**

The sight at the young girl's place was worse than expected. Amanda's mother was distraught. Her eyes looked puffed and red from all the crying and lack of sleep.

"She hasn't slept a wink since last night," Mr. Tate said, "Amanda's our only child. Do anything you have to, but find our daughter. Please."

"We will Mr. Tate," Morgan assured him. He went on to ask them some questions about Amanda and last night's party. We'd decided that we would talk to her BFF about a possible pregnancy, rather than her parents as it was highly unlikely that they would know anything about it. I scanned the photographs on the walls while Reid carefully went through the envelopes and papers on a nearby shelf. He shook his head when I asked him if he found anything suspicious. I beckoned him to join me and when he did I pointed at the picture of a blonde girl posing along with Amanda. From the looks of it she was the girl we would have to speak to.

"Mr. Tate, did Amanda have any best friends?" Reid asked.

"Of course she did. She was well liked. She was particularly close to Lizzie. That's her in the photograph," Mr. Tate answered pointing at the photograph we just had a look at.

"Where does she live?" Morgan asked the father, "It is important we talk to her."

"She lives next door."

Morgan nodded at us. Reid and I left for Lizzie's house, while Morgan stayed behind with the Tates.

I sat Lizzie down on her bed and sat down beside her. Her hands were trembling; she definitely knew something.

"Do you want us to get you some water?" I asked, squeezing her trembling hand. We wanted to talk to her in private and since she wasn't a minor, the parents couldn't refuse. Moreover, Lizzie too wanted it that way.

"No, I'm fine," she said wiping the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand, "Do you think she is alive?"

"Yes, we do believe she is still alive," I said and looked up at Reid. He was observing Lizzie for any facial cues and reactions that would tell us if she was telling us the truth or not. I turned my attention back to her, "Do you have a reason to believe otherwise?"

Silence.

"Lizzie, if you know something, please tell us. Trust us. We need to save your best friend. She needs you," I tried to persuade her to talk.

"What if they hurt me too?" she burst into tears, clutching my blazer's sleeve. That did take me by surprise.

"No one's going to hurt you Lizzie. I promise no one's gonna hurt you. Just tell us who it is."

"Whatever you tell us, however insignificant it may seem to you, it will help us save Amanda," Reid came to my help. And then it looked like all our efforts were paying off. She started talking, finally.

"But you can't tell her parents," her pale face betrayed all her fear. There you go! Looks like Amanda did have a dirty little secret.

Before I could make her any false promises, Reid told her it will have to come out eventually and we had no choice. Anything she'd tell us would be evidence.

Lizzie sighed and a little courage came to her, "Then you didn't hear it from me," she sounded more confident.

"Alright, fair enough," I said.

"There's this gang.. Rick, he's the leader. Amanda met him at a local club. It was just hanging out in the beginning, then they hooked up. I tried to warn her.. You know to stay away from guys like him. They are not the relationship type and Amanda was just the opposite. She thought this was some sort of a movie, where the bad guy ends up falling in love with the good girl. And then.. And then.." she said between the sobs.

"She got pregnant?" I completed her sentence.

"Yes!" she escalated to walling. I signalled Reid to get some water for the girl before her parents came running into her room. He headed downstairs to get some water and assure her parents that everything was fine.

"What happened then?"

"She wanted to have the child.. God! What was she thinking?" Lizzie snapped, "Her parents would've killed her," she said, but quickly realised her wrong choice of words, "Oh no I don't mean to implicate anything! They love her, absolutely. But, Rick? I don't think he loved her enough not to hurt her. I don't think he loved her at all! Somehow he managed to convince her and she even made an appointment."

"Where?"

"I don't know. She wouldn't tell me," Lizzie said, "I guess she was angry with me for siding with Rick on this. But, she said something weird while getting ready for the party... That she must do what is right and not what's best. I'm not sure but I think she was talking about her baby."

A dangerous boyfriend, but she was listening to him. Or pretending to. Still, he is a possible suspect.

"Lizzie? Was Rick at the party last night? Did you see Amanda leaving the party last night?" I asked. Reid was back with a bottle of water. Lizzie took it, taking a sip from it.

"No, he wasn't there. This was a private gathering, just us friends. We were having a lot of fun. Then she was texting somebody.. She went out.. Never came back," she said wiping her tears. After further questioning we left for the P.D along with Morgan.

Detective Morrison worked with us, giving us any information we needed. When we assembled in conference room, JJ summed up the case.

"The Unsub uses a .38 caliber revolver to shoot the victims in the abdominal region, killing them. That looks like the Unsub's M.O as of now," Morgan said.

"There were no signs of forced entry at Emma's house," Rossi said, recollecting the crime scene he had visited, "Nor were any sedatives found in the victims' bodies. That must mean that they knew our Unsub. Or.. The Unsub scared them enough to not scream for help."

"Emma and Alicia have had abortions recently while Amanda might still be pregnant. So is that the reason that we haven't found her body yet? The Unsub is keeping her alive?" Emily posed an important question.

"Garcia do we have the call logs of the victims? Who were the last people to talk to them?" Hotch turned to the best available option to find a lead.

"This woman Emma. She makes me jealous. She just keeps talking and talking. Her last call was to a guy named David Wagner. He..was...in D.C..." Garcia said, "He was here. And then there's Alicia. Her last call was to her mother. Amanda however texted to an unknown number at around 11PM. I cannot retrieve those messages. They've been deleted. And the phone is switched off."

"Who did that number belong to? Rick?" I asked.

"No it belongs to.. Whao, Alan Saunders.." Garcia kept blinking at screen.

"Garcia, what is it?" Hotch leaned forward.

"He's dead. He died..like a year ago," she couldn't believe her eyes, "He died in an accident, drunken driving. And you're gonna love this.. December 24th was the day he died. That makes last week, the week of his death anniversary."

"Was his mobile found at the site of the accident?" Rossi asked.

"Nope."

"What about a wife or a girlfriend who would still have access to his phone?" Reid asked.

"Just a sec..yes. A wife, Annie Saunders..wait wait wait the best part is yet to come.. Saunders is the maiden name of Amanda's mother. That makes Alan her brother and Annie Amanda's aunt.."

"Why would an aunt text to her niece so late in the night and why did Amanda delete them?" another question from JJ. Emily had the answer, "I don't think they were new year wishes because it was before 12 and those messages don't have to be deleted. Unless, you have something to hide."

"Wait a minute," I said remembering something Lizzie told me, "Lizzie said Amanda was saying something like _I must do what's right and not what's best._ What if her aunt Annie was helping her have the baby?"

"So Amanda's disappearance had nothing to do with our Unsub?" Emily wondered aloud.

"What if Annie is our Unsub?" JJ said. Though her conclusion was farfetched, it couldn't be ruled out.

"Garcia what does Annie do for a living?" Rossi asked amidst all our deductions.

"She is a computer technician in Martel Technologies. They have a long list of clients local hospitals, firms..." Garcia went on about Annie, but my mind was elsewhere. Martel Technologies, where have I heard this name? Eureka! That's it..!

"Emma!" Reid and I exclaimed at the same time. He was sitting opposite to me and one look at him, I knew we had the same thing on our mind. He let me continue, "Emma worked for Martel Technologies until a week ago. Annie knows Emma! Garcia dig deeper, check Emma's older call logs, you're bound to find Annie's number somewhere."

"Checking..." Garcia said, "You're a genius! Found it Annie Saunders. Emma received at least two calls a day from Annie the week before she died. And it happens to be the same week she got her abortion done. I found their medical records. And I am checking Annie's records as of now. But, I can't put a trace on her. Mobile's switched off. She hasn't turned up for work since three days."

"Okay we've established connection between Emma and Annie. What about Alicia?" Morgan asked.

"Before that, Morgan, Emily and Vivian head to Annie's house. If we are on the right track, Amanda might be there, though the chances are low," Hotch said. Good thinking Hotch! Morgan's phone buzzed as he received Annie's address and we headed out. "Guys wait," Hotch stopped us for some reason, "One more thing Garcia. The .38 caliber revolver? Did Alan own one?"

"Yes boss! He did," Garcia confirmed his suspicion. He then turned to us, "Go."

* * *

><p>[Third person POV]<p>

"JJ, talk to Amanda's mother. Find out if Annie has suffered any trauma apart from her husband's death. Specifically related to child birth," Hotch instructed JJ, when Garcia found a new lead, "This just keeps getting better and better! Annie made a maintenance check at one of her the company's clients, a hospital when some of their systems crashed. And guess what?"

"Alicia had her abortion there?" Reid asked, the sound of triumph evident in his voice.

"Wow," Garcia said, "Let me savour this moment. These are so rare.." That's when Reid knew something was wrong. He was wrong!

"Wrong! She worked there. She was a nurse right? So, how does it feel to be wrong not - actually - perfect Dr. Reid?" Garcia taunted him, taking full advantage of the opportunity.

Reid quirked his eyebrows and said, "New."

"Oh yeah?" Garcia arched an eyebrow but before they went further with their taunts Rossi spoke up, "So a friendly banter turned out to be deadly for Alicia. Annie made regular maintenance checks there. It means she must have met Alicia before and known her well enough to talk about something so personal like an abortion."

"You don't really have to be so close. Sometimes you just need to strike a chord," Hotch pointed out, "Perhaps Annie said something that elicited that response from Alicia."

JJ returned after calling Amanda's mother to confirm that she had a termination of pregnancy once and gave birth to still born the second time. After that she couldn't conceive again even though the couple tried everything. "Last year when Alan was killed in an accident, she went into a depression from which she never recovered. She refused help. She continued to work but she completely isolated herself. The only person she ever interacted with was Amanda. Alan loved Amanda like his own daughter and so did Annie. I informed Emily and the others about this. They are almost there."

"Perhaps Alan's death anniversary was the trigger. She couldn't have a child and then her husband, her only emotional support died. She sees the victims throwing away something she could never have. According to her they were fortunate, but they didn't value it. Instead they just abort the baby," Reid explained, "She believes, blinded by rage, that they don't deserve to live..because they've killed their own off springs. They've literally taken another life."

"But doesn't that make her a hypocrite? She is taking lives too.." JJ said, a frown set on her face.

"Yes, perhaps. But, it is her rage and sense of justice that drives her. She finds nothing wrong in what she does. I think we have our killer," Hotch closed the file in front of him, when Detective Morrison entered the room, "Are you guys ready with the profile?"

"Even better," Hotch said, "I think we know who our Unsub is."

* * *

><p><strong>I can really use some encouragement here.. and suggestions too! Like I already said this might seem to you like a routine ReidXOC romance. But it is certainly not!<strong>

**Anyways, looking forward to the reviews. I'll post the third chapter based on how they turn out to be! **

**Thanks!**


	3. Doubts

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**_Iamsiameseifyouplease_: I am fairly new to Criminal Minds. I started watching it only about six months back, given the fact that the Seasons telecast with a massive delay in my country. And even worse, my first season was Season 7! I instantly fell in love with this character, Dr. Spencer Reid. And in Season 8 came Zugzwang! I was heartbroken when the writers killed Maeve only to realise that it was a CM tradition. I managed to catch up pretty soon and BAM! I am here writing this fanfic because just like you and many others out there, I feel Reid deserves to find happiness. Sorry for the rant! But, thanks a lot for the review! I hope my OC wouldn't disappoint you.**

**_PartTimeMuggle_: Don't worry. I am a good girl and I have lots in store for all my readers! ;) Thanks for the review!**

_**ripon:**_** Believe me, a Reid clone is the last thing Vivan is. (even though they'd have one or two common hobbies) And about the Strauss thing, you're right. I'll make sure I get it right the next time. Thanks for the review!**

**Here's the next chapter! A big thanks to all my silent readers too! **

**Read on..**

* * *

><p>"Annie Saunders?" Morgan knocked at the door of a suburban house with a small porch and very well maintained patch of a garden. Emily and Vivian went for the back door while Morgan tried one final time, "Annie Saunders, Federal Agents! Open the door!"<p>

There was no response. He signaled the back up to stay alert and used his sleight of hand to get into the house.

The living room looked like it had been hit by a storm. Annie's office files were scattered, bed sheets lay sprawled on the carpeted floor. The ambient temperature was very low, almost freezing. They moved cautiously, towards the kitchen Morgan announcing, "Clear." Another "clear" echoed from the kitchen. Emily walked out of the kitchen, her gun still poised and ready. Her eyes wandered around and when she spotted the staircase she headed upstairs, followed by two other officers.

At the far end of the living room was a door that led to a staircase which further led to a relatively dark basement.

Vivian stiffened when she heard the creaking of an opening door. She relaxed right away as it dawned upon her that it could only be her colleagues. She stepped forward, her gun pointed at the silhouette near the door, not wanting to take a chance. In the process she tripped over something soft yet solid, knocked something down, setting off a series of clanking sounds.

"FBI! Drop your weapon," Morgan warned, unaware that it was in fact Vivian. "Morgan don't shoot, it's me, Viv.. Whao!" Another series of clanking sounds, followed by a painful "ouch", confirmed that Vivian had hurt herself.

"Hey! Are you alright?" Morgan asked, as he searched for the switches.

"Yeah, looks like I stepped on something.. soft.." she said, "With holes.." Morgan flicked the lights on and scanned the room for suspicious action. "Clear," he said before approaching her. A laugh escaped his lips when he saw Vivian sitting amidst scattered silverware and a pile of old newspapers. "You're quite a clumsy one," Morgan said, a grin plastered on his face. She looked at him miffed, "This never happened."

"We'll see about that," he knelt down on one knee to examine the cushions she was holding, "What did you find?"

"She's been practicing," Vivian said, pointing at the bullet holes in them, "Did you find her? Or Amanda?"

"Not yet," Morgan said and helped Vivian up, "So is she on a spree?"

"We can't say yet," Vivian said, "Not until we find Amanda."

"Guys you've gotta take a look at this." Emily led them upstairs and what they saw confirmed their suspicions about Annie.

Several pictures of Alan and Annie together, some with Amanda's family and few baby posters were on every wall of the room. The room was also filled toys which should've belonged to a child, that is, if Alan and Annie ever had one.

"She was obsessed with her loss and she never stopped mourning. She acted normal, went to work, yet lived in isolation," Vivian continued, "I am sure the signs of depression started even before Alan's death."

Morgan plucked a photograph from the ones nearest to him, "They look like a happy couple. All these photographs.. It looks like the guy really loved his wife." "Then how come Annie never got any help? Alan should've at least tried," Emily wondered.

"He tried. He definitely did. They had everything ready for the baby. The room, the toys, everything was prepared. But something's missing, what is it?" Vivian asked and moved towards the bed.

"The crib," Emily was quick to notice, "He must have tried to clear this room so that she wouldn't be reminded of the baby she had lost."

Vivian nodded in agreement, "But by doing that, her condition only aggravated and her depression had an effect on him. He took to drinking, which made it a whole lot worse."

When this information was corresponded to Hotch, he instructed Garcia too look for an alternate hiding place for Annie and Amanda.

Meanwhile, the detectives who had gone to interrogate Rick reported him missing.

"Rick's mobile is switched off. But I managed to triangulate its last location. It was last found near a cabin that Alan Saunders owned. I've sent the address," Garcia's response was quick and the team headed towards the cabin.

They were sure that Amanda was absolutely fine but arresting Annie as soon as possible was necessary. Rick's life was at stake!

* * *

><p><strong><em>Alan Saunders' cabin<em>**

"Why are we here?" Amanda asked for umpteenth time when Annie finally snapped, "Will you shut the hell up!? Do you even have the slightest idea of what I am going through right now? You don't! All I am asking you to do is let me think."

"I understand," Amanda moved closer to her aunt, "But you're scaring me."

Annie looked at her shaken niece and realised that the girl was freaking out.

"I am sorry dear.." she lowered her voice and took Amanda's hand into hers, "You know your baby is going to be so lucky to have an angel like you for a mother."

A weak smile appeared on Amanda's lips, "Thank you," she whispered as her eyes moistened with tears, "You were right. I don't have the right to take a life. Not my baby's life. It was a good thing you heard me talking over the phone. Otherwise I would've made the biggest mistake of my life."

Annie wrapped her hands around the girl and caressed her back.

The sound of a muffled groan distracted Amanda and she pulled away from her aunt, "What was that?"

"What?" Annie asked nervously, blocking Amanda's line of sight. The sound was louder, now followed by a loud thud. "What is that?" Amanda demanded walked past Annie towards a door from behind which the sound emanated.

"Amanda! It must be a cat or something. There's no need for you to go there," Annie pleaded, fervently trying to stop her for her own good. She grabbed Amanda by her hand and forced her away from the door.

"Aunt Annie, who is in there?" Amanda asked glancing back and forth amidst the smothered pleas for help coming from the other side of the door.

"None of your concern. I am trying to protect you dear," Annie pushed Amanda into a nearby chair and her gentle demeanour transformed into that of anger, "So just sit here and let me do something I should've done already!" She turned around, furious. She then yanked her bag off the table and to Amanda's horror, fished out her husband's revolver.

"Oh my god!" Amanda gasped, but dared not to speak.

Annie gripped her right hand with her left to stop its incessant shiver. The first time she had killed, it was rage. The second time it was pure thrill and exaltation. But the third kill seemed impossible to her. The tremble in her hands made it impossible for her to aim. The repercussions were setting in, exhaustion was taking over her, remorse began to pile up.

Her soul split into two, one part wanted her to refrain from committing another heinous crime, while the other drove her to open the door, revealing a gagged and bound Rick staring aghast at the two people in front of him.

"Rick!" Amanda cried out and rushed to his rescue. She removed the gag and proceeded to cut the ropes loose when she heard Rick mumble something, "Go..go.."

Amanda stared at her aunt in pure horror. "Why are you doing this?" she begged Annie.

"He tried to hurt you!" Annie said, her anger rising, "He wanted you to kill the baby!"

"That doesn't mean you kill him! All I asked you was to help me convince my parents!"

Annie paid no heed to the girl's words and dragged Amanda out of the room, "Don't make me hurt you!"

Amanda cried out in pain, trying to pry herself away from her aunt.

"You move an inch. I'll kill him," Annie warned her, pointing the gun at Rick.

Outside the cabin, the federal agents and the police surrounded the cabin, knowing well that Annie might give them a hard time. Their plan was not to surprise Annie. But Amanda's scream told them otherwise and the cabin's door was knocked down.

Reacting quickly Annie tightened her arm around Amanda's neck, holding her at gun point.

* * *

><p>[Vivian's POV]<p>

Shit! The last thing we wanted was a hostage. And here there were two! Annie wouldn't hurt Amanda, would she? If not Amanda, her baby was important to Annie. Or has she given into her urge to kill? If it is so why is Rick still alive? Several questions raced through my mind while Emily tried to negotiate.

"You wouldn't do that Annie. You don't want to hurt Amanda," Emily said, her gun pointed at Annie. I was the closest to Rick and considered freeing Rick while Emily kept Annie occupied. She had her back towards him, so I had a good chance. I took a step sideways when Reid, who probably figured out what I was planning, muttered, "Don't." Something in his voice made me retreat. Perhaps, it's for the best.

I reverted my attention to our Unsub and her hostage.

Annie was really on the edge. The murders had hit her hard and she was breaking down. However, her pain and anger went up a notch, "What do you know about losing a child? It was going to be a boy, I knew it. We had everything ready. We were going to be a happy family. But.. I lost my baby, I lost Alan.. I lost everything..." Annie's grip on Amanda loosened as tears rolled down her cheeks, " And those women.. They threw away a blessing. They are murderers! They didn't deserve to live. Not after what they did."

"You took lives too Annie," I prayed that the few words I was going to say didn't make the situation any worse, "How do you justify that? Annie you have suffered, you've lost loved ones. We understand. But this is not how you deal with it. Not by killing innocent women."

"THEY ARE NOT INNOCENT," she yelled and Amanda winced, "You know nothing about losing loved ones. If you did you wouldn't be pointing your gun at me."

Amanda tried to free herself from Annie's hold only to have the muzzle of the gun pressed harder to her temple. Even though she vehemently denied that she had killed innocent people, I knew that the guilt was already weighing her down. Annie's life showed no signs of her being a classic psychopath. It was just a temporary loss of sanity due to depression that drove her to commit those crimes. Another push and she would give in.

"I understand." I felt a lump rise in my throat, "I understand how it feels to lose your loved ones, how it feels to lose someone who meant everything to you. I can feel your pain." I could feel the eyes of my team on me. I didn't expect this to get personal. I had no choice but to tap into her pain and my own to make her understand that what she was doing was not right. And that seemed to be working. "What I also know is that sometimes people don't have a choice. You must understand that too. But you do have choice now. You need help and we'll make sure you get some. You don't have to do this. Let Amanda go.."

"I don't.. have to do this.. I don't want to do this.." she broke down completely, letting Amanda go, "I don't..." Her legs gave away and all the pent up grief burst out.

JJ took a visibly shaken Amanda out of the cabin while Reid and Emily helped Rick. According to his statement she'd approached him that morning wanting to talk to him about Amanda, privately. He got into her car and the rest of it was a blur.

I handcuffed Annie while assuring her that the nightmare was over.

* * *

><p>[Spencer's POV]<p>

Rose Kennedy once said, "It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone."

If there's something that cannot be hidden forever, it is one's pain. It shows one way or the other and today it was Vivian's turn. If that isn't the case, then that girl deserves an Oscar. My attention kept reverting to her despite my efforts to return to The Republic I had started reading the previous night.

Vivian rested in her cushioned seat, her hair scooped up into a messy bun. She sat there, busy with her phone, occasionally massaging her forehead. She could definitely use some coffee. The same thing was on JJ's mind, since she walked up to her with a coffee mug in her hand.

"You did good today," she said, placing the cup on the table top in front of Vivian. Vivian looked up at JJ and then at the mug. "Coffee?"

JJ nodded and seated herself opposite to her. "Thanks." Vivian took a sip and sighed. She was exhausted.

"So Morgan tells me you and Reid are neighbours," JJ said, looking at me for a moment. Great! Now they are gonna drag me in to this.

"Neighbours?" Emily chimed in. Who's next?

"Yeah, just moved in last night." Of course, Morgan!

"That's really nice," Emily said, "Are you done with your unpacking?"

"Oh no..there's still lots to do! I flew all the way from New York yesterday in such a hurry and it was hell! I wasn't supposed to report to duty until next week." Vivian said with a frown, "Agent Strauss can be tiring sometimes."

"Tell me about it," Emily rolled her eyes, "At least that explains why you look so tired."

"Agent Strauss said she had a good feeling about you," I couldn't help asking, "Have you worked with her before?"

"Yes, I did." She took another sip of her coffee before she continued, "Ever since I graduated from the academy. That would be four years."

"Wow... You must have a lot of patience." JJ sounded impressed and so were the rest. It was evident that she had a lot of patience, given her nonchalant demeanour. Her voice had no highs and lows. It was rather monotonous, almost like Hotch's; except, she smiled every now and then and engaged in conversations.

"You need help unpacking? Maybe our genius here could lend you hand," Morgan said out of blue.

"What!?" I blurted out and immediately realised that I might have sounded rude.

"It's okay. I'll be fine," Vivian tried to make the situation less awkward and I felt ashamed.

"Come on Reid! Be a good neighbour. She is your teammate too you know." Morgan was not going to let it go until he'd extracted his revenge for the joke war he never won.

"Morgan it's okay," Vivian came to my rescue again. Note to self: she really has a heart of gold.

"I don't mean to intrude but I can help you out..that is if you're fine with it. I mean it," I offered, trying to be polite.

"I don't know.. You can help me with the books I guess. I have two big shelves to fill." She was a bit hesitant but clearly needed some help. Moreover it was the perfect job for me and she knew I'd be more than glad to help with that. "Sure. It is too late anyway. You should get some sleep tonight. We can deal with the books tomorrow."

"Yeah.. Thanks." A faint smile appeared on her lips and its warmth could be felt. Her eyes spoke a million words, which couldn't be deciphered. The one thing I was certain of was a strange fear concealed in her beautiful brown eyes that sent chills down my spine, when her eyes met mine.

* * *

><p>[Third Person POV]<p>

"You should give her some files. That _is_ a part of her job description. However it sounds weird: Agent trained in combat being asked to help with paperwork." Rossi sat facing Hotch, Vivian's file in his hand. "It is only her first day." Hotch was reluctant.

"Don't let the question 'why' bug you." It was easy for Rossi to figure out the reason for the reluctance of the man he knew inside out.

"Why? It is important Dave. First I thought it might be Reid. But I think it is.. Emily," Hotch had to talk to somebody about it. The thought had been bugging him the whole day. Only David could help him sort it out, like he always did.

"They do have an eye on her," Rossi said, "You think Vivian's appointment is planned move."

"You make it sound like a conspiracy," Hotch frowned at Rossi.

"That's how it's painted in your mind. Frankly speaking, I was surprised too. When Erin said a new agent would join us, I expected a Media Liaison. She knows that the paper work is an extra burden and I am pretty sure she was worried that you were turning the Quantico office into your house, which you already have," Rossi smiled, "I never thought it would be a field Agent."

"Did you read the file I gave you?" Hotch's eyes fell upon the file in Rossi's hands.

"Yes. About this.. Don't you think it's unfair?" Rossi made it clear that he wasn't pleased with what Hotch had done, though he was pretty sure that it wasn't his work.

"Strauss gave it to me this morning. She wanted me to know," Hotch said, "I wanted to know your opinion."

"Why should someone's forgotten past decide how their present should be?" Rossi paused and lowered his voice, "She was only a kid back then."

"Not quite," Hotch pursed his lips. He leaned on the arm of his chair to check on the rest of the team. When he found them asleep he continued, "Dave, you know what kind of an effect someone's _forgotten_ past can have on their present."

What happened with Emily was fresh in their minds, like it had happened yesterday.

"True. But it is a risk we must take. Like I said, it would be unfair. Emily's past never stopped us from fighting for her, then why not give Vivian a chance? Moreover these are different circumstances. I say you're viewing things with a magnifying lens."

Hotch remained silent. He sighed and decided to put his incertitude to rest, "You're right. Anyways it _is_ her first day and she looks very tired. She might as well get some rest while she has a chance."

* * *

><p><strong>I'll be updating once or twice a week from now on. With my studies and writing, I should be able to manage the both of them right! :)<strong>

**Once again thanks a lot for the reviews!**

**Do leave me more! ;)**


	4. Closure(Part 1)

**Author's note:**

I am extremely sorry for the huge delay on the updates. But the recent airing of the 200th episode compelled me to make huge changes to my storyline and rethink the plot. Hence the delay. Also, I had to deal with a shit load of work at college.

I've revised the fourth chapter and this is the new one. Thanks a lot to all the readers who have added my story to their list of favourites and are following my story. A big thanks to all those who have reviewed so far.

That's it for now and I'll get back to you with the new chapter very soon!

Thanks!

- Rosalind

* * *

><p>Vivian raced across the hall to answer the door bell, pulling her black cardigan over a white T-shirt.<p>

"I'm almost done! I'm so sorry I slept in!" She left Reid at the door staring at her as she grabbed her scarf and stuffed the rest of her belongings into her bag.

"You should calm down. Hotch only wanted me to check on you," Reid said, standing in the doorway.

Vivian stopped whatever she was doing, "Hotch what? And come in…"

"He's been calling you. He couldn't reach you. So he just wanted me to make sure you were fine. You better call him. It must be important. Otherwise he wouldn't have insisted," Reid said before he turned to leave.

"Wait! Hotch called me?" she looked pretty confused, "Oh my god! I left it uncharged! The battery must've died. It must be about the reports he gave me last night before we left."

"Okay." Reid made another attempt to leave. But something made him turn around, "Are you going drive..today too?"

"Umm.. I was actually planning on taking the metro. Not really in a mood to drive." Vivian saw that Reid was all dressed and ready. "You don't have to wait…"

"It's okay," Reid said as he stepped into her apartment. It was like his apartment, only the ambience was very different. Most of the furnishings had a lot of white and other light colours. The shelves were decorated with all kinds of toys, small goodies and antiques. It wasn't the strange combination of decorations that bothered him, but the absence of something very important. Photographs.

There wasn't a single photograph anywhere on the walls. No loved ones? He tried to ask her about her family only find out that she had lost her parents in a home invasion. She gave him no other details and he didn't probe any further.

"Reid? Shall we?" She stepped out of her bedroom, her hair tied up in a ponytail.

"Yeah."

* * *

><p><strong>HQ, Quantico.<strong>

"You've got to be kidding me!" Vivian looked at Reid wide eyed as they stepped into their office, "You don't play chess anymore because you've probably played all patterns and strategies?"

"It's not like I don't play anymore. I just don't play as often as I used to. Since you are claiming to be good, I'll give you a chance to actually prove it," Reid removed his bag and placed it on his table. Vivian leaned against his desk, her hands folded across her chest, "You just wait Dr. Reid. You'll be so sorry.."

"Oh yeah?" Reid smirked slightly, "You should probably go and see Hotch. You don't want him disappointed now, do you?"

"Wait for it Reid..wait for it.. I'm gonna wipe that smug smile off your face.." Vivian said, pulling the files out of her bag.

"Yeah right, we'll see about that.." Reid walked towards the coffee machine as Vivian headed to Hotch's office.

"Looks like someone's in a good mood today morning.." Emily said.

Reid smiled at Emily and grabbed his own cup of coffee, "Where's JJ?"

"She's taken the day off. She had some things to take care of," Emily said and the two agents returned to their desks, "If I get this file done, I'm gonna be free…"

"You wish," Morgan, who was already there with his own load of work, smirked, "That word doesn't even exist for us."

* * *

><p>"Sir?" Vivian stepped into Hotch's office to find him on the phone with someone. He signaled her to wait and continued to talk to the person on the other side, in a very polite tone, "Yes sir. It will be taken care of." He cut the call and looked up at Vivian, "Do you have any idea…"<p>

"They are done," she placed the files on his desk, "I'll mail the rest of them to you in a minute. Is there anything else I have to do?"

Hotch took the files and skimmed through them. He remained silent for a moment before he pushed another set of files towards Vivian, "There are two case files that need immediate attention. I'm checking one and I need you to work on the other."

"Sure," Vivian grabbed the files and headed towards the door when Hotch spoke, "Vivian?"

"What is it?" She waited for him speak but he said nothing.

"Nothing. You can leave."

Hotch watched Vivian leave his office with the files in her hands. He wished Strauss hadn't given him the background information on Vivian. The minute he read that file, he had a profile built in his mind and the Vivian he saw in the past few months didn't fit. He wondered what it was that made her so different, that helped her beat the odds. He wondered what it was that brought her to the BAU. His experience had an answer ready for him, perhaps the right one. Only, he wished to be wrong. He returned to the file on his desk, reminding himself that there were other things worry about, like a call from the Congressman.

* * *

><p>"Whao!" Vivian almost scared Garcia when she walked right into her 'work station'. Filled with computer screens and Garcia's own goodies that kept her sane, Vivian found the room to be too small.<p>

"Don't you think the room's a little crowded?" Vivian said and took the empty seat beside Garcia's.

"You know, there's only one other person who ever said that," Garcia said closing the window of an online game she was playing, this time using her own network connection.

"Who?"

"Gideon," Garcia said, as her mind wandered off to the senior agent, who knew when to give up. She heard some people calling him a quitter. But she knew that Gideon had given too many of his years to this job to be a quitter. There was nothing wrong with wanting to retire, especially from a job like theirs. Everybody had their own breaking point. Before Vivian could comment, she evaded the topic, "So what can I do for my super heroes today?"

"See if any repeated sex offenders have been recently released on parole in northern Louisiana. Look for parole violations," Vivian said and slid closer to the screen, "Narrow it down to these zip codes."

"Sixty four," Garcia waited for further instructions from their newest member. Vivian listed each of the possibilities on one half of the paper she placed on the desk and facts on the the other. She then struck out the theories that weren't feasible. Garcia sat there listening to her deductions, finally narrowing the list down to two preferential sex offenders.

"You know, you almost sound like Reid when you start that babble of yours, except you're poles apart when it comes to everything else.." Garcia twirled the pencil in her hand and hit the send button, mailing the report that Vivian just compiled. "Sent."

"Thanks, Garcia." Vivian smiled at the technical analyst before she got up from the chair.

"I'm curious," Garcia swiveled around to face Vivian, "You are neighbours right?"

"Yeah," Vivian settled back in the chair, her chin propped on her elbow, "What is that you are curious about?"

"Do you guys even talk to each other outside work? I mean not just random conversations on your way to work and back.. More like actual talking, like we're doing right now?"

"And why are you asking that?" Vivian tilted her head amused by Garcia's sudden display of curiosity.

"Like I said, I'm curious.." a smug smile appeared on the blonde's lips, "Tell me.. It's been only three months and you both seem like you've known each other all your life."

"Of course not. You're just exaggerating it. And it's actually three months and twelve days since I joined," Vivian dismissed the thought right away. It was true that she and Reid got along pretty well but they certainly weren't as close as Garcia felt they were. Or were they?

"Oh I'm not," Garcia said, "The last time I checked, you chose him over me."

"That was because I was pretty fucked up. With the reports pending and all that paperwork.. I just couldn't refuse when Reid offered to help. Plus, Hotch had taken the day off after such a long time.." Vivian paused and narrowed her eyes at Garcia, "What is it that you really wanna ask me?"

"Okay..here I go. You like him.." There wasn't a question in there nor did Garcia intend it to be one.

"I don't! I mean I do like him. But, it's just that..." The emotion that Vivian felt right about then was inexplicable. "It's just that he is easy to converse with. He is a great guy. He is a profiler, I am a profiler..we work together, we are neighbours... We see each other a little too much and that's probably why we became friends so easily but.. Seriously Garcia, we are colleagues..federal agents working on the same team!"

"Hold on sugar, I was just messing with you. But, you do look cute together," Garcia winked at Vivian and turned to her screens. Vivian couldn't help but smile. She shook her head, a soft smile lingering on her lips, "Penelope, you're unbelievable!"

"Tell me something I don't already know," Garcia said. She had her back towards Vivian, but the agent knew that their tech genius still had that smug smile plastered on her face.

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><p>"Anything today?" Emily asked with her fingers crossed.<p>

"Just some consulting," I said walking up to them with the file in my hands, "I guess we're free.. At least for now. You got somewhere to go?"

"Not now. Later in the evening," Emily replied casually trying not to sound too excited. "Oooh! A date.." Morgan and I cooed in unison and I could swear I saw a faint blush as she disagreed with us, "Not a date! I'm just meeting an old friend."

"An old friend huh?" Morgan stressed on the friend part, grinning as he said that. Emily rolled her eyes, "Whatever.."

"Do you have any plans for the evening pretty boy?" Morgan moved on to Reid.

"I? I don't know.." he said and turned to me, "You said something about a new restaurant opening down the street."

I skipped a beat when he suggested that we should check it out. My mind went right back to what Garcia had said about me liking Reid. I mentally kicked myself for even thinking that was possible and straightened myself out, "That was two days ago. Yeah, we can check that out if you want to. It's Indian actually," I said and looked at Morgan, "How about you and Garcia? Wanna come?"

Morgan obviously hadn't expected the invitation. Frankly, neither did I. Yet, I was already looking forward to having dinner..that evening..with Reid.

"Sorry sweetheart, count us out. I've plans for my beautiful behaviour analyst. Actually Hotch has plans.." Garcia said. She jerked her thumb at the conference room, "A call from Chicago PD. Crane's sentence is being carried out tomorrow. And he wants to talk."

Morgan's countenance changed. His forehead creased with worry as he walked away without another word.

"Did he ask for Morgan?" Reid asked Garcia, who nodded in return. She followed Morgan with the same worry in her eyes. Reid shook his head and sat down in his swivel chair and so did Emily in hers, facing Reid.

"Who's Crane?" The anxiety was contagious.

"He is a serial rapist and a homicidal maniac. Morgan arrested him during the time he worked for the CPD. Hotch and Gideon worked on that case along with him. Crane almost killed Morgan. Somehow they were able to apprehend him alive," Reid explained, "Perhaps Crane has agreed to talk to us one final time."

"But why?" I asked, only to realise the answer, "He has a list; the list of the victims, whose bodies haven't been discovered yet. There are families out there who need closure, right?"

Emily nodded, "He tried to use that as leverage, to get a deal. But they've sentenced him to death anyway. I wonder what he's planning now."

That sick bastard… The thought of the families not finding closure left me unsettled. Waiting for someone, not knowing if they were even coming back is the worst thing that could happen to somebody. It leaves you haunted, helpless and struggling to find an answer any way possible. Some give up, some move on but the void remains. The nightmares keep coming back. And for some even closure doesn't end the misery...

"Hotch called. I heard Crane wants to talk," Rossi and JJ walked in together. Rossi looked at the conference room upstairs, "Are they in there?"

"Yep," Emily said and turned to JJ, "I thought you were taking the day off."

"Oh that... It can wait. It's okay. Moreover Will had to leave for work. Then I got this call from Hotch," JJ said, "I thought I might as well come in. Vivian.." JJ signaled me to wait and extracted a card from her bag. She offered it to me, "He's really good. You should get that ankle checked out."

"Thanks JJ!" I took the card. "You said that the ankle was fine!" Reid sounded upset, "You should've said something." The look on his face was that of disapproval, "You really are very careless."

"You're right about that," JJ agreed with him, "If I hadn't seen her clutching the sore ankle in pain yesterday, no one would've known."

"Hey cut me some slack. It isn't that bad," I held my hands up in defense. Before Emily had the chance to add her two cents worth I directed their attention towards Hotch and Morgan descending the stairs followed by Garcia, "We're leaving for Chicago in thirty minutes," Hotch was in no mood for banter, "We are getting that list. All the details we need are on your tabs. Vivian, Reid, take these," Hotch handed me the case files, "Go through the victimology and geographical profile. We can use a pair of fresh eyes," he said to me.

In less than ten minutes we were ready and were about to step outside when I got a call from an unknown number. "Hello?"

_"Special Agent Vivian Parker?"_

"Yes?" The accent was familiar. There was no need for me to rack my brain trying to figure out who it was as the speaker introduced himself right away.

_"This is Detective William LaMontagne, WPD."_

"Will? Hey.. How are you?" I knew I heard that voice and accent somewhere. It was Will! JJ spun around up on hearing his name. I shrugged at her ignorant of the reason for that unexpected call.

_"I'm good. Umm.. Vivian? Will you be able to come down to the station right now? It's important."_

Hesitation was evident in his voice, like he was holding something back. What could it be? Well, being asked to come down to the police station couldn't exactly be good news.

"Right now? We are actually leaving for Chicago in ten minutes."

_"It's about Rebecca…"_

"Becky? What happened to Becky?" The rest of the team had gathered around me by now, probably wondering why Will had called. The minute Will mentioned Becky's name, I felt my heart throb. Something wasn't right! Something just wasn't right!

_"I'm so sorry Vivian.. She.. she's dead…"_

My mind exploded and my vision blurred. I must've lost my balance for I could feel a pair of strong hands supporting me. "Vivian? Are you okay?" It was Hotch.

"That's not true!" I managed to choke a few words out.

_"You are listed as her next of kin. I need you to come down and complete some formalities. I can't give you the details right now…"_

He continued to say something but those words were incomprehensible to me. I felt someone's grip on my shoulders and I looked up.

Reid shook me once, "Vivian, what happened to Rebecca?" How did Reid know her..? Of course he did.. He met her when she'd visited me last week.

"Will's saying she's dead…" I said and dropped the phone into his hands. I sat there, my shoulders slumped as the world around me started to spin. Those three words: _she is dead _echoed in my ears. That is not possible. No! It cannot be true!

I could see Reid talking Will and my team talking to me, but I could only hear myself saying again and again, "That's not true!"

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><p><strong>Please read and review! Don't forget!<strong>

**Any suggestions and requests are also welcome!**


	5. Mourning a Loss

**_I know I'm too late with the update to apologize! Yet, here I am saying that I am extremely sorry. But it couldn't be helped. I had to deal with some serious shit (including a crash of my laptop, thereby losing all my documents). _**

**_I know many of my readers would've abandoned the story after getting real tired of waiting for an update. I understand. I am sorry, but like I said I was helpless. I had to take some time off from everything. _**

**_To every reader who has come back to read this update THANK YOU very much! :)_**

**_Also, I thank everyone who had commented and complimented my story by following and and adding it to your list of favourites. Thank you so much! No more excuses. Only regular updates every week! ;)_**

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><p><strong><em>Four years ago...<em>**

_"Promise me you'll never do it again..promise me you'll get help.." Vivian stroked the head of a nineteen year old girl on her death bed. That was what the doctors said. The drugs had scourged her body and there was a very slim chance that she would even survive that overdose. They had given up hope but Vivian didn't. She had already lost her aunt and uncle and she wasn't going to lose her young cousin too. "Let me go.. I just can't take it anymore.." Rebecca groaned._

_"No.. Becky you can do it.. Don't give up on me.." the older one begged. _

_"I'm not as ss..strong as you are..." Rebecca smiled weakly at her cousin._

_"I'm so sorry..." Vivian wept into Rebecca's frail hand, the one she was holding on to, "I'm so sorry.. It's my fault. If I'd never come into your lives.."_

_"It isn't your fault.." Rebecca muttered, "Dad was wrong. Wrong about everything.. About me, about you.." _

_"I... I.." Vivian kissed the young girl's hand and wiped her tears. With renewed determination she made a promise, "You are going to be fine.. Absolutely fine.. I am gonna make all of this go away.. I'll protect you no matter what.."_

_"Really?" Rebecca asked with a glint of hope in her green orbs. _

_"Yes... It's a promise.."_

* * *

><p>Yet, today, she stood there staring at herself in the mirror. All she could see was a failure. A person...no a pathetic loser who failed to protect anyone and everyone she ever loved.<p>

She splashed water over her face again and ran her fingers through her tussled hair. She had forced her team to leave despite Reid's fervent attempts to stay behind and help from D.C.

Garcia had offered to drive Vivian to the police station but she made sure that Garcia remained at the headquarters, helping the team and doing what was most important.

_"I'll be there as soon as possible.." she had told Hotch who immediately dismissed it. "Take all the time you need. If you need anything..anything at all, remember we are only a call away."_

_"That's right kiddo," Rossi laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, "Take care."_

Vivian exited the restroom looking even worse. She walked towards the bullpen to find Will talking to his superior. She moved a little closer to hear clearly and she was noticed. "Ah, Vivian." Will was relieved to see Vivian. He was beginning to worry about how she was holding up ever since she had told him that it was just Rebecca and her and they had nobody else the police had to contact.

"Can I talk to her roommate?" Vivian asked, suppressing her grief.

"Sure. She is still here.. Come with me…" Will led her to an interrogation room. He opened the door and let Vivian talk to her alone. He stood on the other side of the glass, monitoring their conversation.

"Melinda.." Vivian said taking the seat opposite to Rebecca's roommate. The blonde nodded at the Agent and wiped her eyes again, "Agent Parker.." she gave Vivian a weary smile.

Vivian returned the smile, fighting back her tears, "The both of you were pretty close. I'm so sorry."

"The past six months have been some of the best months of my life.." Melinda paused and wiped away fresh tears, "They are wrong.. The detectives say she died of a drug overdose. That's not possible..!" She looked Vivian in the eye, "You know Rebecca! She'd never do drugs again! Not after what you guys have been through!"

"I believe you..."Vivian slipped her hand into hers and squeezed it, "But we need evidence to prove that. Melinda, where were you when this happened?"

"I... I was visiting my parents in Manhattan. I asked her to come with me. But she said she had some work to do, an important assignment or something. But…" Melinda paused, trying to remember something.

"But what?" Vivian leaned in as she realised that Melinda knew something that might be very important. Outside the room, Will became alert for this was something new.

"She was upset about something. She wouldn't tell me," Melinda said.

"When was that?"

"Last Tuesday I guess…"

That was two days after Rebecca had visited Vivian, "Upset about what? She never mentioned anything to me…" Vivian recalled everything she could about the day she and Rebecca had dinner together. She didn't find anything that would suggest that Rebecca was upset. She was absolutely fine and was her usual self.

"The night before I left for Manhattan, that's exactly a week ago, she came home disturbed," Melinda was more than sure that something was wrong, "Her eyes were red like she'd been crying. I asked her what was wrong. She didn't wanna tell me. But she said something strange… that if she had a chance to change her past she would've chosen differently. I assumed it was about her you know…"

Vivian nodded at her understanding what Melinda had assumed: Rebecca's drug abuse. She sighed in despair when something struck her, "Did Rebecca maintain a journal or a diary of some sort?"

"I guess she did. The cops ransacked the place, turned it upside down looking for drugs," Melinda sounded pissed off, which was justified given the circumstances, "They must've found it."

"Are you sure? Did you tell this to the cops?"

"Yeah.. I did.. At least most of it. I just donno how I'm gonna go back in there!" Melinda covered her face with her hands and wept, "They say she's been dead for thirty six hours and.."

"I didn't even know…" Vivian said. She said it more to herself than Melinda, "I didn't even know…"

"Don't blame yourself… You couldn't have known." It was Melinda's turn now. She held Vivian's hand.

"Thank you Melinda… But it doesn't change anything…" It was becoming impossible for Vivian to contain her tears, "I'm sorry..." She stood up and stormed out of the interrogation room only to be faced by Will, "Vivian, you have to calm down."

It was too late. She was already in tears, uncontrollable. All the pent up grief came out at once. She sank to the floor weeping while Will tried to comfort her. He put his arms around her shoulders and helped her up. "I should've called her Will. I would've known. She is a stubborn girl but if I had insisted she might have told me if she was upset about something. I should've at least called her."

"You wouldn't have known. The preliminary reports came back. The M.E. placed the death around midnight. There are no signs of violence anywhere on her body, nor anywhere in the room…" Will said and let her take a seat, "Look, I understand this is painful. But is there any chance that Rebecca would've…"

"No!" Vivian snapped, "She would never do that. I know what she's been through. Trust me when I say I know. She wanted do something good with her life. She found a purpose Will, she found her reason to get better. When you find a reason you don't go back there. You just don't."

"I'm sorry. But I had to make sure," Will said and pulled out a diary from an evidence bag, "This was the diary we found at her place. We didn't find any entries for the past week. So we don't know what it was that upset her."

"What?" The profiler in her began to think, "She was alive for about a week after that... So why did she not mention anything in her diary or to me? Was she too ashamed to even think about it..? What could it be? We've got to find out what happened that day that made her so upset!" Vivian wiped her tears and looked up at Will, "Are you going to look into this?"

"Yes, I am going to. But if you mean, am I going to let _you_ look into this; then no. I've been given strict orders not to let you. This case isn't exactly FBI material. I hope you understand…"

"I can talk to Hotch," Vivian looked hopeful.

"It wouldn't work," Will tried to convince her, "Trust me Vivian. If Rebecca was killed I will find her killer. It's a promise. But I need you to stay out of this. Please."

"Will, let me help…" she begged him.

"We don't even know for sure if this was a murder." Will knew that his words would enrage her but he did what was necessary. Their Captain did not appreciate a Federal Agent butting into their investigation. As much as he wanted to help Vivian, his hands were tied. "I'll keep you informed and that's the best I can do for you right now."

Vivian sighed and nodded, "Thank you."

Will was relieved. At the same time he was dubious of the lack of any vehement defiance on her part. He wondered what her plan was. Was she planning on talking to his Captain directly? That was a possibility he didn't seem to like. He wanted Vivian to trust him with the case and let him do his work rather than making it personal. He knew he might react the same way if he was in Vivian's position. Yet, he trusted Vivian to do the right thing.

"Go home and get some rest. You'll need a lot of strength to pull yourself through this," Will said.

"And we are going to be your strength," a familiar voice forced Vivian to turn around.

"Garcia?" Vivian was surprised to see her there, "What are you…"

"Doing what is necessary," Garcia said and thanked Will, "I'll make sure she's fine."

Garcia led Vivian out of the police station, "We're heading to your place right now and you're getting some rest."

"But what about the team? They need you more than I do!"

"Shhh… I can work from anywhere honey. But look at you. Please, you need to get some rest…" Garcia hailed for a cab and they left for Vivian's place.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chicago<em>**

"Did you call her?" Morgan asked Reid, who had just left another message in Vivian's voicemail.

"It's going straight to voice mail," Reid said, "She'll need time."

"How close are they? Rebecca and Vivian?" Morgan asked as he and Reid stepped out of Crane's prison cell.

"From what Vivian told me they were cousins and have known each other since they were kids," Reid said, "Rebecca's all Vivian had."

"What?" Morgan was more than just surprised. His heart sank as he realised how dear Rebecca was to Vivian.

"I know. And that is why I am worried. Garcia said she'd be picking up Vivian from the police station and take her home," Reid checked his phone again. There was no sign of a reply.

"So Will says she ODed?" Morgan asked referring to the phone call Vivian got earlier that day.

"Yeah, that is what he says. Rebecca came over for dinner at Vivian's place nine days ago. That was when I met her. I can't bring myself to accept the fact that she died of a drug overdose," Reid said, lost in thought.

"What do you mean?" Morgan frowned.

"You should've met her. She showed no signs. She was clearly not using," Reid said with confidence.

"Maybe it was a onetime thing gone bad. You know, the curiosity to try something new... Or maybe she had a history and it relapsed," Morgan was being the rational thinker, which he usually was. He never liked jumping to conclusions when it came to cases and this wasn't going to be any different.

"It is true I don't know anything about Rebecca except that she and Vivian are pretty close. But, I have this uneasy feeling..." Reid sighed.

"You're worried about Vivian. We all are... Garcia will take care of her. Let's just deal with this bastard as soon as possible and get back home, to her." Morgan patted Reid on his shoulder and led him back to the cell where they resumed searching for clues in Crane's journals.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Vivian's Apartment<em>**

**_6:30 PM_**

Garcia set her work station up in Vivian's living room letting Vivian freshen up.

"Yep, she is fine Emily," Garcia said into the microphone, "And JJ, don't you worry. She's in safe hands."

_"It's just that I don't even know what to say. I called Will a few minutes ago and he says it might be a murder, but chances are they're rule it as death due to drug overdose," JJ said over the speaker. _

"Good, at least Will thinks it might be murder. He'll definitely do something about it," Garcia said, lowering her voice, "I know the MPD wouldn't like us butting in, but I don't think Viv is going to let go of it so easily."

_"I know," this time it was Emily, "I would've done the same. In fact that was what I did."_

"I remember. Those exorcisms… If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have arrested that priest," Garcia said.

_"Anyways. Gotta go. We'll get back to you if we need anything."_

"Who was it?" Vivian asked as she entered the living room. She settled on the couch, her back rested on the arm of the couch and her legs crossed. Garcia sat down in the empty half of the couch with her laptop.

"You should eat something. You haven't eaten anything all day," Garcia said affectionately.

"I am not hungry," Vivian shook her head.

"Do you wanna talk about it? It helps," Garcia offered. She was willing to try anything to make Vivian feel even a little bit better.

Vivian remained calm. She wasn't in a state to say anything, for that matter she didn't even want to feel better.

Garcia sighed and decided to give her some time.

It was a few minutes later that Garcia heard Vivian speak, "I was… fifteen, when I lost my parents. My uncle and aunt took me in, gave me a new life. But…" Vivian paused for a moment and gulped down the lump in her throat, "that was only the beginning of their misery. My uncle lost all his money because of a fraudulent partnership. Things began to get worse at home, almost unbearable. My uncle used to come home drunk and fight with my aunt. Sometimes he even hit her! He used to call me the curse that destroyed them, an unnecessary, extra mouth they had to feed. However, I managed to get into Yale with a scholarship and it gave me an excuse to run from the hell that the beautiful home had become."

Vivian brought her knees close together and wrapped her arms around them. Garcia slipped her hand into Vivian's and squeezed it gently. Vivian inhaled deeply and said, "That was my first mistake. I ran like a coward. For two years I bothered not to return. I kept in touch with Rebecca and my aunt through phones and emails. Not once did Rebecca tell me that matters had gotten worse. Another two years passed and I graduated. Rebecca had promised that she would be there, but there was no sign of her. That was when I finally decided to return. But, it was too late. Rebecca was…"

"Rebecca was addicted…" Garcia completed her sentence. Vivian nodded and continued, "I had applied to the FBI Academy and I got in. However I made sure I visited Rebecca every week. I tried my best to send her to rehabilitation. Hell! I tried everything. My aunt and uncle's separation came as another blow to her. The drugs had completely destroyed her. Like what she was going through wasn't enough, her parents died in a car crash while returning from a counseling session." Vivian shook her head, "Amidst all this mess I graduated from the academy and got posted in New York first. I kept shuttling between D.C. and New York. I took her with me, wherever I went. It took her three years to get back on her feet… and now that everything was working out for her…" Vivian sighed.

Garcia moved closer to her and Vivian shifted to rest her head on Garcia's shoulder, "She didn't deserve any of this…"

"She did not," Garcia conceded, "We will figure this out Viv. Trust me you're not alone. You have us."

Vivian closed her eyes and held onto Garcia's hand, "Thank you." Vivian had never felt weaker than how she felt now. She was ashamed that she ran away when Rebecca needed her the most but she knew she had to do it; to fight her own demons. She had come a long way since then and tried to do the same for Rebecca. Fight her battles for her. And she succeeded too… almost!

"I am so sorry," Garcia heard Vivian whisper in her sleep, "I am so sorry."

Garcia didn't know Vivian too well to judge her. However seeing Vivian in that state made Garcia wonder what it took for a strong woman like Vivian to become such an emotional mess. Though it had been just three months she had seen Vivian display immense patience and strength when it came to emotions. Initially Hotch had been reluctant to let her deal with families of victims, for he wasn't sure if she could handle them. But, she had proven him quite wrong. Their chief was known for being a bully sometimes, strict with the newbie and very keen. It took not more than ten days for Vivian to prove herself and show him the reason for being the only one chosen to be on that elite team, while there were several other aspirants competing for the very same thing.

A call from Morgan returned her attention to the case at hand and she dived back into work.

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><p><em><strong>I will be back soon with an update! <strong>_

_**XRosalindX**_


	6. Finding Strength

**_Here's another chapter!_**

**_In this one I revealed a little about Vivian and also wrote about the dynamics of her relationship with her teammates._**

**_It is not much but at least it is something..._**

**_Do read and review!_**

**_[I apologize for any typing errors and grammatical mistakes!] _**

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><p><em>"Stop! Don't shoot him!" a young girl in her early teens screamed at the top of her voice only to go unheard. The gun shots ricocheted making her wince at every shot fired. <em>

_"No! No! No! He's innocent..." she wailed as the man being shot dropped to the floor. She opened her teary eyes to the blurred image of the man reaching out to her. She dragged herself across the floor, towards him. She could hear somebody screaming in the background. It was an angry voice demanding the officers why they hadn't waited for a confirmation. _

_She pushed the gun in her path to a side. That wretched gun! Only if he hadn't been holding it! _

_She held his hand and wiped the blood off his face, "Why?" Why did you do this?" She was angry._

_"It's better this way.. It is.." Those were the last words he had spoken before she was scooped up and away from the limp body lying in front of her. "No! Daddy! Daddy!"_

Vivian was suddenly out of breath. She gasped for breath one last time and woke up with a start. She was drenched in sweat, cold and shivering. She rubbed her forehead and sighed. She looked around to find herself in her bed. The memory of Garcia helping her into bed came back to her.

Vivian found her phone on the night stand as she turned on the light. She checked how late it was. The clock showed 3 AM and several missed calls and messages, most of them from Reid. She got out of her bed and stepped into the living room to find Garcia sleeping on the couch rather uncomfortably. She decided to wake her up and offer her the bed. There was really no need for Garcia to take the couch when there was enough room for both of them in the bed. She figured Garcia had been working late and wondered if the team had solved the case.

The buzzing of her phone startled Vivian. Reid again. A smile crept onto her lips as she answered the call. "I'm so sorry Reid," she said, "I should've called right away."

_"I am just glad you're okay. I thought you'd be sleeping..." _

"That didn't stop you from calling me though.." she let out a soft chuckle and Reid relaxed.

_"We'll be there in about an hour. You should get some sleep."_

"Sleeping is all I've done. So did you guys get the list?" Vivian asked as she slid down to the floor. She sat there cross legged leaning against the wall facing the book shelf that Reid and Vivian had arranged three months ago.

_"Yes we did. His execution would go on as scheduled."_

"How come you guys didn't stay for the execution?"

_"Hotch didn't think it was necessary... Did you eat anything Vivian? You sound very weak.."_

"Nah.. I am fine. I am just groggy from all the sleep.. Anyways see you when you're back here. Bye," she said and cut the call. Weak.. Weak, she was becoming weak. She bit her lip and closed her eyes. "You've got to be strong", she told herself, "You have to stay strong."

She turned her head to see Garcia sleeping soundly. A smile reappeared on her lips. When she was assigned to the BAU, Vivian never thought that she would be welcomed so warmly into the team. Even the tough looking unit chief was one of the kindest men she had ever met.

In the three months all she had found was warmth and friendship; especially, from Emily Prentiss. Vivian knew that the team had doubts about her sudden appointment. In fact so did Vivian. Emily should've reacted quite differently, for even Vivian was sure that she was there to replace Prentiss, which she dearly hoped not. Of course Emily wasn't a kid. She was a professional. It wasn't long before Vivian was able to build a rapport with the older woman.

And JJ.. She was fun. Though not officially, Vivian had taken over the empty spot of their Media Liaison and JJ was more than glad to help her out. JJ worked with her, familiarizing her with their local PD contacts and other necessary contact information. Garcia had become a good friend too, surprisingly fast. They spoke about anything and everything.

Chasing two unsubs down in the busy streets of Queens with Morgan about a month ago was something Vivian would never forget. They had to split up and chase them down without any surveillance's support in those maze like alleys. It was a matter of life and death for the victim and they were running short on time. It was that race against time that helped her gain Morgan's trust, in fact got them to trust each other. It was one hell of a bloody chase! Both literally and figuratively!

She continued staring at the book shelf as her mind wandered back to the day Reid kept his word about helping her with the books.

_Three months ago…_

_Vivian heard a knock on her door as she sat down on the couch to enjoy a nice coffee. It was almost nine thirty in the morning and Hotch had let the team take the day off. Even Vivian, since he knew she had just moved to D.C. _

_"__God! Now what?" she frowned and walked to the door irritated. She peeked through the peephole to see Reid standing there. She was mildly surprised before she realised why he was there._

_She opened the door with a grin, "I didn't think you'd come."_

_"__Well, I gave you my word," Reid said and entered. He couldn't deny that he wasn't at ease but it wasn't awkward either._

_"__We'll start as soon as I'm done with my coffee. You?" she offered him. He refused, "I just had some. I am trying to reduce my caffeine intake which is turning out to be unhealthy. Do you know? Caffeine stimulates your central and sympathetic nervous systems, resulting in an elevation of the stress hormones released by your pituitary, adrenal and hypothalamus glands. These hormones can cause short-term spikes in your blood pressure by raising both your systolic and diastolic pressures. Also, the release of stress hormones causes your body to enter a state similar to a fight or flight response, causing blood to be redirected from your stomach and digestive system and potentially causing indigestion."_

_Vivian sat there, with her mouth slightly open, her coffee mug stopping mid air, halfway to her lips. Reid who had been observing the living room while talking, now turned to Vivian who was struggling to find a response. He quirked his eyebrows and said, "That's just a study. One of many…"_

_"__Yeah, one of many..." Vivian said slightly nodding her head with a hint of smile on her lips and went back to finishing her coffee._

_Once she was done, she dragged three boxes full of books towards the empty shelves. "This is just the beginning…" Vivian said and sat down beside one of those boxes. Reid settled down beside the box labeled Encyclopedias and Journals. _

_"__You have quite the collection," he said, "Some of these seem to date back to the sixties and fifties." He pulled out a few more hardbound books, most of them being medical journals. "Were your parents doctors?"_

_"__Huh?" Vivian looked up from her box surprised, "Those journals? They belong to my grandfather. He was a doctor. Family heirlooms you see. So be careful." She said smiling. "Yeah sure," Reid said sorting them out by date of publication, "I will." He looked at her for a moment as she continued to sort the books from the box of Classics. She never answered his question about her parents. He did see in her file__that both her parents were deceased, but it never mentioned their occupation. He shrugged his doubts away and decided not to profile his colleague. He better not. It was none of his business._

_"__When you said you read a lot, I never thought you would have your own personal library at home. Will these two book shelves be sufficient?" Reid asked as he arranged the contents of the second box, which was a humongous collection of Modern Literature. Vivian chuckled, "This collection is a gift from my parents and my grandparents. I try my best to take as many books as I can with me wherever I go. Most part of this library is in Mendocino, California."_

_"__Mendocino? Are you serious?" Reid asked as his eyes widened in surprise. _

_"__Yes, my grandfather owned a vacation home there. The local library guards my grandfather's collection now."_

_"__What about your parents?" Reid asked casually. He mentally kicked himself for not being able to contain his curiosity._

_"__My parents? They were scientists," she said turning away and picking up few more books. She walked up to the second shelf and placed the books in her hand in the top row. "I was fifteen when they were killed in a home invasion. My aunt and uncle took me in."_

_"__I am sorry," Reid said, feeling bad for probing into a delicate matter. "They've defined my life Reid. My life as it was and as it is today," _Vivian said with a sad smile.__

_Reid nodded and said, "I am sure your parents would be __proud of you. Not many can pull themselves through something like that."_

_Vivian remained silent. Only if he knew… She shook her head and returned to the task at hand. Every book that came out of the boxes became a topic of discussion. It was only when Vivian reminded Reid that if they didn't stop talking and continue working they would never finish the shelves that they moved to the next set of boxes. Vivian and Reid realised that had lot in common when it came to books and __were __worlds apart when it came to social life. _

_About two hours later they were almost done when Reid threw himself on her couch, tired, with a vintage edition of Pride and Prejudice in his hands. "How many editions of this book do you have?"_

_Vivian looked at him sheepishly, "Six __I guess… I love that book."_

_"__Yeah you seem to enjoy romances," Reid observed. "Absolutely!" Vivian's face lit up, "What's life without a little romance?"_

_Reid immediately wondered about her love life, which made him think about his own. Disheartened, he turned his attention to the chess board, with an unfinished game on the dining table. "Do you play?"_

_Vivian looked at it seriously and said, "Oh no I just use it to serve drinks and such." Reid chuckled and Vivian continued, "Care to play a game?"_

_"__Sure," Reid said getting up from the couch. Vivian clapped her hands, "Great! I'll get the board ready." Just when she was about to rearrange the pawns their phones buzzed. "Work beckons…" Reid waved his phone._

_Vivian slumped in disappointment and looked at the clock. It was half past twelve. "Fine," she sighed, "Let's grab some lunch on the way. My treat."_

_When Reid hesitated she jerked her thumb in the direction of the shelves, "Token of gratitude."_

_"__Okay…" Reid shrugged, "Ten minutes."_

_"__Ten minutes?" She looked at him shocked, "Seriously? Make it twenty."_

_"__That's fast too…" Reid said and exited the house._

Chess games on the weekends and occasional dinners together on their way home from work became a part of their routine. Reid often talked about old cases and Vivian about her life in bureau, which wasn't much. So most of the time all Vivian would do is to listen and learn. But, neither of them spoke about anything personal. They chose to keep it that way.

Rebecca was the only personal detail pertaining to Vivian's life that Reid knew. He happened to run into them one evening while heading out. Vivian had introduced Rebecca to him and they spoke for a few minutes. That was probably because Rebecca herself was a student of psychology and had a lot of questions for the BAU agent. Seeing her enthusiasm Vivian invited Reid to join them for dinner and Reid politely refused.

_"Too bad..." Vivian said, "I was cooking."_

_"Good for me then. Right?" Reid asked Rebecca taunting Vivian. Rebecca laughed and nodded in agreement to which Vivian pouted._

_Reid smiled at his newfound friend and left, giving Rebecca his best wishes. Vivian was inclined to ask if he was going out on a date but didn't when she observed that he wasn't dressed for it. That, however, didn't keep her from wondering about the long walks he often went on. _

[Present time]

The memory of the night Rebecca had dinner at her place brought back all the grief. She sighed. She was determined not to cry. Crying wouldn't bring Becky back, she told herself.

Vivian got up and walked towards Garcia, "Pen... Penelope.. Get up." She shook Garcia's shoulder and the tech genie got up yelling. "You can't beat me you son of a b*****!"

"Whao! Are you okay?" a startled Vivian stepped back.

"Oh crap!" Garcia face palmed, "I don't believe I'm dreaming about him now!"

"You certainly didn't sound like you were enjoying it..."

"Oh I hate that bastard. There's this guy in this online game I play. And he keeps messing with me. That cheating asshole!" Garcia balled her fist and slammed it against the couch.

Vivian rolled her eyes and pulled Garcia up, "If he annoys you so much teach him a lesson. Do your hacking thing..."

"I've tried it," Garcia whined, "He is just too smart for that!"

"Oh… You better be careful then. Use your own connection this time. You deal with important bureau stuff every day," Vivian said walking towards the bedroom grabbing a bottle of water on the way.

"Absolutely! Oh the horrors if he gets hold of any info…" Garcia stopped mid sentence and frowned, "Wait a minute. What did you say?"

"What..?" Vivian asked perplexed. Didn't she offend Garcia somehow? She definitely didn't mean to.

"This time…?" Garcia narrowed her eyes at Vivian, "How do you know?"

"Oh.. that…" Vivian fumbled, "Reid..! Reid and I we were talking about old, interesting cases solved by the team. That's when he told me about the Fisher King case…"

"Oh…" Garcia sighed, "That was humiliating and that case…it turned somebody's life around…" Garcia said thinking about Elle.

"Who…?" Vivian asked.

"Elle… Elle Greenaway. Whatever, you got some sleep?" Garcia said avoiding any further details, again.

"Yeah.. I did. And you better get some sleep too." Vivian said handing Garcia a comforter.

* * *

><p><strong>The next day...<strong>

[Vivian's POV]

I tried to concentrate on the file before me but the call that I got earlier had already spoiled my day, although the news I got was exactly what I had anticipated. Will had called to tell me that police have ruled out accidental death in light of new evidence they are now treating it as a homicide. Blood boiled in my veins. Who was that son of a bitch? Kill Rebecca... How could anyone...? I clutched the papers so hard that they crumpled and almost tore off. I shut my eyes tight and took a deep breath. My sister was murdered! And they expect me to not interfere? No way in hell!

I know I gave Will my word that I would not interfere, but I couldn't just sit there doing nothing. I was an FBI agent for god's sake! My job did have some perks. What can the Captain do if I use one them? That's it. I'll talk to the Captain.. Oh yes I will.

I stepped out of JJ's old office, which I used whenever I had to go through files and pick cases, which Hotch would go over again before making the final call. I walked past Reid who was perhaps coming to talk to me. I didn't bother to return his "hey" nor did I bother to answer Emily's "are you okay?"

I was about to enter the lift when I felt a tug on my arm. I turned around swearing only to bite my tongue upon seeing who it was. Hotch! Damn! He looked angry, almost as enraged as I was. And that was pretty scary.

"Where are you going Vivian?" he asked sternly, letting go of my arm.

"To the precinct," I said. I didn't bother to lie because I knew I'd need his help and lying never helps when it comes to our Unit Chief SSA Aaron Hotchner. He continued to look at me, his eyebrows knit into a frown.

"She was murdered Hotch," there was a slight tremble in my voice. As the news dawned upon him his eyes widened, "I am so sorry."

"I just can't let this go Hotch... I need to do something..." I could feel myself breaking down. My body felt weak all of a sudden.

"Do they have any leads yet?"

"They found sleeping pills in her system, which appear to have been in a normal dosage. They were ingested on the night of the murder!" I cried out, "How could she have injected Oxycodone into her system if she had already taken the pills? Also what's the point in taking sleeping pills if you wanted to get high?" Hotch tried to calm me down. "Hotch is there any way?" I asked knowing well that Hotch understood what I was asking for.

"Did you talk to Will?" Hotch asked, leading me back into the office. "Sit down," he said pointing at the chair that Emily just gave up for me.

"Yes I did. But he's not sure if he'd be able to convince their Chief," I said shaking my head in disapproval, "Why is their chief being such a pain?"

"Because it is not in our jurisdiction," Reid cut in. Despite the obvious spike of my anger, I couldn't disagree with him. "We are the BAU. We deal with serial killers not singular homicides. Unless he invites us in we can't claim the case," Reid put it rather bluntly. "I am very sorry. But that's how it is," he paused looked at Hotch briefly and said, "Unless Hotch gives you a, you know, leeway."

"Reid!" Hotch shot him a glare and Reid looked away.

"What I think is you should let Will do his job," Hotch said his voice turning softer. I looked at him worried. "Will is an excellent detective Vivian. Put yourself in his shoes. He'd expect a little trust."

My mind told me to listen to Hotch but my heart? It was an entirely different story! I wanted to be out there hunting down my Becky's killer but I couldn't! Hotch was right about putting myself in Will's shoes. Just because the victim's sister was an FBI agent I wouldn't and couldn't just handover the investigation to her. But, rational thinking isn't exactly one of my strong points right now.

I nodded and covered my face with my hands. I looked up at Hotch and said, "Will said he'd call me back after all the evidence is processed."

"We need to be patient until then," Emily said placing a hand on my shoulder, "Remember, you're not alone in this."

The others nodded in agreement. "Be strong. We will find out who did this," Hotch assured me.

"Thanks!" I was genuinely grateful to them. What relationship did we have? For how long have they known me? Three months? Yet, I find them here with me. Just like a family, supporting me, sharing my pain.

"Anyways, we have a case," I said getting up. If this is how it was going to be, so be it. I have found my strength, my team. I swear to God, I am going to nail whoever killed my little sister and make sure they suffer in hell!

* * *

><p><em><strong>DO LEAVE A REVIEW! :)<strong>_


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